Sigh… You know I didn’t want to write this, but here we are…
Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn… why thy have you forsaken me…
So… as you can probably see from the title and my beginning sentences, this is going to be about Gundam Unicorn. A journey that I enjoyed from the beginning and immediately hated it after I witnessed the ending. And before you ask, yes, I watched both the one hour version OVA episodes and the alternate version of 24 minute episodes of this storytelling. Which in the end, it doesn’t matter as they both have the same ridiculous ending that I despise with a passion.
However, before I discuss why I hate the ending I am going to give you a background of the story so you guys can understand my hatred for the ending of this story. So buckle up, because I am about to lay down an oversimplified version of the lore within this story. And the reason I am oversimplifying it is because I don’t want to be stuck here writing a PhD level detail paper on the full lore that this story offers. As that would take too much of my time. So if I miss something, well, take that with a grain of salt as I have a life of my own. Anyway, this should be obvious by now by stating…
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
Duh…
So in this universe of Gundam, there are three factions. Which for those that are avid Gundam fans of this story, I know, I know. There are more than that in this universe lore of Gundam, but for the sake of making things simple. I am going to state that they are only three. As this story mainly and solely focuses on them alone. Which are the Earth Federation, Anti-Earth Federation Movements, and the Principality of Zeon. And Gundam stories being based on war, you can clearly see where this is going.
So, the story starts in a satellite colony called Industrial 7 where our main character, Banagher Links, resides. Ridiculous name I know, but that is besides the point. From there it is set up that the world that they are living in currently is at peace. A fragile peace as they had suffered a previous big interstellar war before they reached to this situation.
Anyhow, Banagher is minding his own business with his high school classmates and suddenly wakes up from his idling as he notices something falling within his colony. A girl in an astronaut suit. And she is falling into the colony in freefall motion with nothing to prevent her fall. Noticing the danger that the girl was in, Banagher leaves his NPC friends and decides to take action to save the falling girl before is too late by stealing a constructor’s mech that is capable of flying in order to catch the falling girl. He does so and they both safely crash land in a random part of the colony.
From this Banagher discovers that the girl he saved is no ordinary girl, as the girl states she came under a urgent secretive mission to prevent another war from happening. And this seems to be landing on the legit radar for Banagher as they encounter a few thugs that want the girl to be handed to them. (By the way, the girl’s name is Mineva Lao Zavi, another ridiculous name into the mix). With this happening Banagher pulls some anime parkour nonsense and gets him and the girl away from the space thugs. From there he guides her where she needs to go for her mission as he also wants to prevent another war from happening. They both get where they need to go for the mission, and once they do Banagher gets dismissed yadda yadda. War avoided.
Just kidding.
Some Game of Thrones scheme shenanigans are pulled without any garden of betrayals and a battle ensues in Industrial 7. Starting a brand new war. Killing many people in a NPC like fashion which includes many of Banagher’s classmates as well. Which is the perfect time to cue the song, “High School Never Ends” by Bowling For Soup.
Anyhow, jokes aside. Why did this war began? Well, for something called the Laplace’s Box. Which is supposed to be something that can change the balance of power for whoever possesses it, but of course no one knows where the box is located or if it even really exists. And even if they found it they would need a key to open it. While this lore explanation is going on, Banagher tries to prevent the current carnage by stumbling upon a Gundam. A Gundam that happens to be the key to Laplace’s Box. Gundam Unicorn.
With this, Banagher takes the mantle as the Unicorn’s pilot/key of the box and that is pretty much the first episode. Which is also the laying foundation of what the whole show is about. A race on to finding the box for their factions benefit while also trying to guess what the box actually is. Which is not surprising since the whole damn war started cause of the damn box with a ridiculous name.
Background story over.
With that stated, the show goes to drive the point that the box is not to be taken lightly. As it brings all sorts of talks on the possibilities it could bring to the world they are living in if they find such a thing. And this is followed along with some cheesy philosophies why wars start and why groups of people hate on other groups yadda yadda. Typical philosophies that pretend to be deep, but aren’t in reality. Very normal clichés in every war story. But anyhow, I digress.
Point is, the story is supposed to hook the audiences along with its characters within the show to make them curious what the box might be. And for the characters within this story, it is the very core and foundation why they go on and fight within this new war that they are in. Explaining if the box is what it says it is they would use it according with their philosophies and values. And it is through these many discussions about the box that make the audience such as myself curious and engaged what the box might be. And the way the show illustrates how serious they are about said box, it makes the audience and its characters to think that the box might be some sort of game changing weapon or some sort of artifact from an ancient advanced alien civilization that died eons ago for the said benefit of their faction and beliefs. Reasonable theories, but of course that gets shattered beyond repair in the very last episode. The episode where the box is finally unveiled once Banagher and Mineva both enter the room where it contains Laplace secrets. The very cause why I hate the ending and why I am writing it.
So, what does the box contain? A game changing weapon? An ancient relic? The answers of all the mysteries of the universe? Obama’s birth certificate?
Nope. None of that.
So what is it?
A UN article.
The box, the very thing that started this damn war/story and caused countless amounts of people to die. Was a piece of international law signed ages ago that people within this universe had forgotten. A fucking… UN article… WHAT?!
All that suspense and mystery of finding out what the box was. Ended up being the biggest blue balls that I ever witnessed in my entire life. And here is the kicker. We as the audience are supposed to be surprised by this revelation like is some kind of mind blowing and good story telling mechanic, but the thing is. We are surprised on rather how stupid the box’s content actually was unlike the creators of this story. Hell, somehow has to.
Matter of fact, the UN article is the least impressive thing within the box. As the box also contained a technological system that allows instant communication and broadcast to all sectors within the universe where there is human civilization. Instant, in across all space where humans reside. That is more impressive than the article itself by a gazillion times, but no. The story dictates that the article is the Shangri-La and that the amazing communication system is only there to support its existence in order to broadcast the rule to all humans instantaneously. As the goal of the box is to expose that all the wars that these people have endured in their history and lore have been breaking this UN law. Making the people that started not just this war, but the many before it into notorious international war criminals. And by knowing this law from now on, it is supposed to prevent future wars from ever happening again.
Just what the f***…
No one, and I mean NO ONE! In the history of human geopolitics and warfare, have we ever given a flying dust about the international rules. NO ONE CARES. And our human history is proof of that. In no war have we ever followed all of the rules of the UN/Geneva Convention without question or tainting it like it was the word of God. All factions/nations within our world have broken many of its laws within our short universal existence. Is in our nature.
Just no… Like… This is beyond stupid.
This show is literally saying that by exposing the existence of this forgotten rule to every human, everyone and their mothers will agree and drop their arms and prevent future wars from now on because this law says so. Even though this war created so much death and grief to the point people feel vengeful and want to get their revenge by continuing the war in order to kill the ones that took their loved ones away…
Like… What?
No sane person would just drop their hatred and will to continue the war on the spot just because the UN says so. This is just unhuman like behavior.
But of course, since this show drops all logic after the unboxing reveal. All factions just give up on the fight and decide to follow the UN law once it is broadcasted to everyone. Just like some stupid kids movie made by Pixar. Just grabbing hands and singing kumbaya in futuristic space.
My, my, the only time the UN actually saves people is in a shitty fictional story ending. All those Tutsi’s and Balkan people who have died under UN incompetence must be fuming right about now in the afterlife. That is if there is such a thing.
So yeah, this is the reason why I hate this show and its ending. But hey, I will admit. When it came to the Gundam fights and battles within this show I was thoroughly impressed. As I enjoyed all of them every time it was on. As you can clearly tell a Korean and a Japanese person were being overworked and underpaid to their deaths to animate these onto the screen. So props to them. Your deaths were not in vain. Even if the show ended in a collosal fucking way.
And before you say it, yes, I can say these comments. As it is my God given right as an Asian person. Don’t believe me? Look at the text below this image.
Anyhow, with all that said. Fuck this show and its idiotic ending. Have a good day everyone.
LEETHALCORE 